It Comes + Goes In Waves

 In heated flow last night, our instructor gave us a word she's been wanting to work on and carried throughout the week in all of her classes - Awareness. She wanted us to think about what the word, "aware", meant to us.

As I laid there in child's pose thinking to myself, "Shit... I really don't know." It sparked my interest to the point I couldn't stop thinking about it. What does that word mean to me?

In deep thought and downward facing dog, it finally hit me. To be aware is to be informed, open-minded, conscious of your surroundings, yours and other's feelings... the thoughts kept flowing as did my body... drenched in sweat from trying peacock pose for the first time (which is hard AF btw).

I had this moment in class where I began to think of all of my life's lessons that taught me how to be aware and I got super emotional about it. I mean, I didn't cry, but I kept thinking about it. So much in fact, that I wanted to share with you all. + Here goes nothing...

1. The grieving process has no dead line.

If you've ever lost someone you've probably heard about the "5 Stages of Grief" and to be quite frank, I think it's a crock of shit. There's a never ending list of stages that no one ever tells you about because I don't think anyone can really tell you what it's like learning to live without someone that means so much to you.

2. You're allowed to be upset about the loved ones you lost.

I think by society's standards there's this stigma that if you lose someone it's just a part of life and at some point, you're supposed to be okay with it. However, that is definitely not the case. You should never feel guilty about being "in a mood" because you miss someone with every fiber of your being. It's ok to cry when something reminds you of that person. It's ok to be in your own space away from others because you can't filter your emotions. It's definitely ok to feel anything other than happiness because a piece of you was taken with your loved one.

3. Time doesn't heal everything (yet).

When a significant event happens to you where your whole world gets rocked... the only way I can describe it is, it's like a wound that starts to scab but at any point, that scab can be picked and your back to open and bleeding... + repeat that process a million times over. One day, things will be different. If they aren't right now, have faith they will.

4. I have the power to dictate how my life is.

This is something I'm still working on.
"What you allow in your life is what will continue."

5. You aren't responsible for others no matter what your role in their life, may be.

(Ok, so definitely other than your kids. You're definitely responsible for them... up until a certain point.)

6. Learning to accept who you are is amazing.

It's not easy, but once you start to appreciate and love yourself, you "seriously cannot be bothered". ;) Of course, we're human, so we doubt ourselves and pick out our "flaws" every so often, but to be aware of the negative thoughts, and channeling that into words of affirmation for yourself... you're on your way to acceptance.

7. Accepting the past is difficult but necessary.

Another thing to accept isn't always the easiest pill to swallow. If you're like me, no matter how much time has passed I always think about what could've been, the what if's and maybe's but it's necessary to not dwell on what you cannot change.

8. Success will only come if you truly believe it will.

9. Taking time away from others is not only beneficial but crucial.

You cannot come to any sort of self-resolution when surrounded by others, it doesn't work that way. As a human being, you adapt to your surroundings. Be in your own company for a change (if you're a people kind of person). It's healthy to recharge on your own.

10. If you want to live a positive life lead by example.

 

Behind the title: I stumbled upon this song when I was a teen and the lyrics stuck with me through a hard time. It pairs perfectly with this article because life is like the ocean, it comes and goes in waves. Things happen regardless if we're ready or not, we have to learn to adapt.

 

 

With love,
Samantha